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journalWelcome to my online journal. I'm Alex Mead. For many years people called me AMPro --so much so that it seemed like my name. More recently, a lot of people on the internet have come to know me as green.earth.al and in show biz...My Rap Name is Alex. Whatever name I'm known by, I still seem to have the same opinions and convictions, I still like to write and make public my introspection and try to say something that will provoke some thoughts and help people see the world in new and helpful ways.
My Mother
this journal entry posted on January.03.2006

Had she lived, my mom would have been 62 years old today. I'm still stunned when people mention their mothers and I realize that their mothers are still alive. I still feel envious when someone tells me a story about their parent(s) helping them out of a tough situation.

I really miss my mom. When I write a book, I feel very sad that I can't give it to her to read and hear what she thiks of it.

When I perform in front of a big audience and do something that a lot of people enjoy, it makes me really sad that my relationship with my mother was cut short back at the point where I was terrified of stages and microphones and cameras. I go on the radio and she's not at home listening.

I need help and I can't just run to her and have her fix it, or say something that wouldn't occur to me so that I can fix it myself.

My mother didn't get to go to Rosemary's 60th Birthday or even have a 60th birthday of her own.

My mother wanted to live long enough to see me have children.

Sometimes I feel like a motherless child.

(not every journal entry is happy and optimistic)


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