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journalWelcome to my online journal. I'm Alex Mead. For many years people called me AMPro --so much so that it seemed like my name. More recently, a lot of people on the internet have come to know me as green.earth.al and in show biz...My Rap Name is Alex. Whatever name I'm known by, I still seem to have the same opinions and convictions, I still like to write and make public my introspection and try to say something that will provoke some thoughts and help people see the world in new and helpful ways.
this journal entry posted on April.10.2007

A couple Thursdays ago I went in to work to do any follow up training that might have been necessary for the evening shifts. There are a bunch of warehouse guys that are very curious about Roz and one of the guys that seems to be rooting for her asked me how she was working out with the tire throwing. I informed him that she had just thrown 18,000 pounds in a few hours and she was doing great. So his reply to me was "Wow. Marry that woman!"

Now apart from that being really strange criteria upon which to base a marriage, there's the fact that I feel like I mostly know Roz from when she was 6 and 7 years old and I feel more big brotherly toward her than anything (she is really cool, attractive and awesome though, don't get it twisted). But, considering that I'm out about my life and this seemed like a teachable moment, I figured I'd dig out the ultimate truth and go with that. I told him "I have two girlfriends already, and I don't see where I would ever find the time for a third."

Yeah. Um. Less than 24 hours later, I had a 3rd girlfriend.

But not just another girlfriend. NO NO NO.

Okay, it's like this. Imagine you're in love with the absolute perfect person for you. And then one day you get to be in love with the other absolute perfect person for you too. It's like that.

Okay, let me organize my thoughts for a second. Okay, now, in point of fact, yes I had two girlfriends at the time. And there have been times in the past few months where it's taken every moment I can find just to be a good partner in those relationships. But at that particular time, I had one girlfriend that had had a very traumatic personal tragedy and told me not to contact her until she contacted me, and another girlfriend that's gone out of state for six weeks. So, technically I did have SOME time. But I was very content; I was spending my mental energy on improving the relationships I had; I was just living the good life and then... BLAMO!

My fondness for my friend Christina is no secret really. I've blogged about her and posted Photojournals of us loving life, and shared a radio broadcast with her, and wrote about her in my autobiography, and told my two girlfriends that if she ever expressed the slightest interest in me all bets were off and that I probably wouldn't be able to wait to discuss it with them and that I would just have to tumble headlong into a movie-esque embrace and kiss her like there was no tomorrow.

And so over the last three years or so I've checked in with her every 6 months or so, reminding her that I thought she should let me be a boyfriend of hers. And she's mostly seemed pretty uninterested in that plan. But a couple friday nights ago... it just seemed like it was time to kiss her. And we kissed. And the universe shifted (again). And I just really really love her like crazy.

And she and Heather are great friends. And I feel all inspired and energized and I have a sense of anxious anticipation for the future from the moment I wake up. I feel like I live in some kind of unreal wish fulfillment universe. If you'd have told me 10 years ago that this was the way my life was going to go I'd have had a laughing fit. I have no idea how I accomplished all these cool books and websites and get to play with the Bloodthirsty Vegans, and have the awesomest girlfriends. To be perfectly honest, it doesn't even seem like it makes sense sometimes.

I have patterned my life around this idea that if I live my life to the best of my ability and really try to do right by others and do unto them as I'd have them do unto me... then my rewards will be automatic. But it was supposed to be theoretical. I don't think I even had a plan for what to do if it ever started REALLY working.

Love like your life depends on it. Because it does.

-be Love,

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